You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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