Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I accidentally had phone sex last night
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Randomize
