I must be too annoying 4 u.
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize