Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
