I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Randomize
