i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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