The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
