when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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