ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
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