She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
