Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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