I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
