The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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