Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
