there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
So apparently I’m into choking now
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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