a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
cat food counts as protein by the way
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
