Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
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