My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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