This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
