It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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