He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
