he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
