She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
