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i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
