I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
