I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
