Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
