so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
