some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
this will be a night to untag.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
