so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Randomize
