The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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