You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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