fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
