I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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