he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
