? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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