I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
