Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Sext me about skeletons
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
