due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
We left the knife in your bed.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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