okay pat passed out under dana's car
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Randomize
