this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Randomize
