So drunk its hurt
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Randomize
