I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
