So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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