We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Randomize
