16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
you traded sex for a burrito?
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
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