i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize