We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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