I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
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