I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Randomize
