Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
