I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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