Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
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