Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Randomize
