Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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