i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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