I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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