I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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