it wasn't lemon gatorade
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
