My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
bring money and cleavage
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
