Me too!
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
