Pants 0. Shit 1.
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
i just made my gag reflex go away.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Randomize
