8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
