those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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