the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
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