She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
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