You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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