found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
i was born a porn star she said
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
