Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Randomize
