If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
