Where is the hickey?
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Randomize
