Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
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